15 May 2013

My Little Pony – The Movie

Summary

Date : 1986

At Dream Castle, the Little Ponies are preparing a festival to celebrate the first day of Spring. From the Volcano of Gloom, the evil witch Hydia watches the event via her cauldron and, disgusted by the frivolity, tells her daughters that they must ruin it. Hydia’s daughters, Draggle and Reeka, are inexperienced at causing mischief and fail utterly at ruining the festival. They return to the Volcano of Gloom in disgrace, where Witch Hydia presents a better plan – they’ll make Smooze. The sisters collect a series of disgusting ingredients, but neglect to obtain the Phlume, the prospect of which terrifies them. The spell seems to work regardless, creating a pool of sentient purple lava that…

Video

Coloring pictures

Posted by blandine in Leisure, Videos
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10 May 2013

Life After Divorce, Reinventing Your Life

Presentation:

Divorce is traumatic but can be an opportunity to reinvent yourself and create a new life, a life that is better than the life you had before. Keiko Hsu shares her personal story of life after divorce. Go to http://www.WingsForWomen.net/ to learn how to create a better life after divorce.

Video:

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Is Divorce Bad for Children?


Many of the 1.5 million children in the U.S. whose parents divorce every year feel as if their worlds are falling apart. Divorcing parents are usually very concerned about the welfare of their children during this troublesome process. Some parents are so worried that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing it will protect their offspring from the trauma of divorce.
Yet parents who split have reasons for hope. Researchers have found that only a relatively small percentage of children experience serious problems in the wake of divorce or, later, as adults. In this column, we discuss these findings as well as factors that may protect children from the potentially harmful effects of divorce.

Rapid Recovery

Divorce affects most children in the short run, but research suggests that kids recover rapidly after the initial blow. In a 2002 study psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington of the University of Virginia and her then graduate student Anne Mitchell Elmore found that many children experience short-term negative effects from divorce, especially anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief. These reactions typically diminish or disappear by the end of the second year. Only a minority of kids suffer longer.

Most children of divorce also do well in the longer term. In a quantitative review of the literature in 2001, sociologist Paul R. Amato, then at Pennsylvania State University, examined the possible effects on children several years after a divorce. The studies compared children of married parents with those who experienced divorce at different ages. The investigators followed these kids into later childhood, adolescence or the teenage years, assessing their academic achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept and social relationships. On average, the studies found only very small differences on all these measures between children of divorced parents and those from intact families, suggesting that the vast majority of children endure divorce well.

Read more…
By Hal Arkowitz and Scott O. Lilienfeld for scientificamerican.com

Posted by blandine in Co-parenting
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7 May 2013

Mini-guide: Ten rules for healthy co-parenting

2houses has published a small guidebook in which we specify 10 important rules for handling the situation of co-parenting. It’s a set of guidelines and recommendations that may be helpful for separated parents who are looking for some educated advice. Its contents have already been approved and encouraged by many professionals. We invite you to download it & read it again and again :-)

To read and download the guide, you may go to this address: http://www.coparenting-guide.com/

We look forward your comments ;-)

Posted by blandine in 2houses news, Co-parenting, Communication, Conflicts
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6 May 2013

Big Buck Bunny – Short movie

Synopsis

The plot follows a day of the life of Big Buck Bunny when he meets three bullying rodents, Frank (the leader of the rodents), Rinky and Gamera. The rodents amuse themselves by harassing helpless creatures of the forest by throwing fruits, nuts and rocks at them.
After the deaths of two of Bunny’s favorite butterflies, and an offensive attack on Bunny himself, Bunny sets aside his gentle nature and orchestrates a complex plan to avenge the two butterflies.

Posted by blandine in Co-parenting
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2 May 2013

What to do when your child hates school


If your child hates school it is probably not his fault, nor that of his teacher, but rather it can be evidence that his brain is functioning appropriately. Healthy brains protect their owners from perceived threat. School today is stressful, often threatening, as a result of the high-stakes standardized testing that challenges students, teachers, and school administrators. There is so much information mandated as required “knowledge” for these tests (that determine federal funding), that for many children school seems more like a feedlot, force-feeding them facts without adequate time or resources to make them interesting or relevant.

Overstuffed Curriculum

Without the projects, group activities, to say nothing of the elimination of art, music, P.E., and often elementary school science, social studies, and even recess, why should a child want to be there? These classes and many enjoyable activities have been sacrificed so there is more time for the two subjects that are evaluated on those tests-math and English. Fortunately there are many wonderful, creative, and dedicated teachers, consultants, and administrators on the front line every day doing all they can to engage their students, without whom I cannot imagine how much worse things would be for the children in their charge.

The problem is worst when the district is required to stick to a rigid “teacher proof” curriculum that dictates tedious days of worksheets and nights of more of the same brain stuffing. In these cases the best teachers have less opportunity to use their skills to create the joyful, memorable learning experiences children need. The penalty for all of us is that the dropout rate has never been higher. For a child in high school now, it is more likely that his or her parents will have graduated than it is that the student will graduate high school. When surveyed as to the reason for the dropping out the overwhelming cry is BOREDOM. When asked what constitutes boredom, the two major responses are, “The material isn’t interesting” and “What we are taught has no relevance to me.”

From my perspective as a neurologist and classroom teacher, I see the blank faces, “acting out”, and zoning out and know that these are not the children’s choices. The brain evolved as an organ to promote survival of the animal and the species. Its first priority is to avoid danger. Our attention is hard-wired to alert to signals of potential danger. The most primitive parts of the brain are those that determine what gets our attention and what information gets priority entry into the brain. This attention system is essentially the same in humans as in other mammals. When the brain experiences stress that attention system is on autopilot seeking the potential threat that might be causing the emotional disturbance, and ignoring other sensory information such as lessons.
Stress goes up with boredom and frustration in humans and animals. Animals restrained or understimulated “misbehave” with aggressive, destructive, and even self-mutilating behavior. The stress causes their brains to attend only to imagined or real threat. In that state behavior is no longer influenced by the higher, thinking brain. Stress takes control of the neural pathways that determine where information is processed and where behavior is controlled.‘

The same responses take place in the human brain. If children are stressed by boring lessons that have little personal relevance and by the frustration of not keeping up with the overloaded curriculum, their brains do what they are programmed to do. Input is diverted away from the thinking higher brain (the prefrontal cortex) and sent to the lower, reactive brain. In this situation, in humans as in animals, the involuntary behavioral reactions are essentially limited to three responses: Fight, Flight, or Freeze.

The reason I left my neurology practice and became a teacher was because I had a profound increase in the children referred to my practice because their teachers felt they might have attention or other neurological disorders causing them to “act out” or “zone out” in class. When I observed the joyless force-feeding of facts by teachers who were given the impossible task of cramming test material into these young brains, my heart went out both the students and their teachers. I joined their ranks, and made correlations between the neuroscience research about stress, attention, behavior, and memory, as I spent the past ten years in my classrooms and implementing strategies to promote the neuroscience of joyful learning.

Read more…
By Dr. Judy Willis, M.D., M.Ed. in Radical Teaching, for Psychologytoday.com

Posted by blandine in Co-parenting, Education
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29 Apr 2013

Guidelines For Divorcing and Divorced Parents

Follow these guidelines to make the transition of divorce and the process of family restructuring and rebuilding easier for you and your children.

1. Divorced but still co-parents

If you have not done so already, call a truce with your Ex. (Note: Your Ex does not have to take the same action.) Divorced parents can succeed at co-parenting. That success may not begin with harmony but, at a minimum, a ceasefire is necessary.

2. You are stuck with each other forever

One day, you will be Grandma and Grandpa to the same babies. And when these babies are grown they will repeat the stories that they heard about Grandma and Grandpa. This will be your legacy. How do you want to be depicted?

3. Divorce creates a breakdown of trust and communication

Accept this and work towards rebuilding trust and communication with the other parent, even if it feels like you are doing all of the work. And, be patient, emotional wounds need time to heal.

4. Establish a business relationship with your former spouse

The business is the co-parenting of your children. Business relationships are based on mutual gain. Emotional attachments and expectations don’t work in business. Instead, in a successful business communication is up-front and direct, appointments are scheduled, meetings take place, agendas are provided, discussions focus on the business at hand, everyone is polite, formal courtesies are observed, and agreements are explicit, clear, and written. You do not need to like the people you do business with but you do need to put negative feelings aside in order to conduct business. Relating in a business-like way with your former spouse may feel strange and awkward at first so if you catch yourself behaving in an unbusiness-like way, end the conversation and continue the discussion at another time.

5. There are at least two versions to every story

Your child may attempt to slant the facts in a way that gives you what she thinks you want to hear. So give the other parent the benefit of the doubt when your child reports on extraordinary discipline and/or rewards.

6. Confirm your decisions with your ex-spouse

Do not suggest possible plans or make arrangements directly with pre-adolescent children. And, always confirm any arrangements you have discussed with an older child with the other parent ASAP.

7. Make a soft transition for the wellbeing of the children

The transition between Mom’s house and Dad’s house is often difficult. Be sure to have your children clean, fed, ready to go, and in possession of all of their paraphernalia when its time to make the switch. Better yet, if possible avoid the dreaded switch by structuring your time sharing so that weekends start Friday after school and end with school drop-off on Monday morning.

8. Make sure that your child maintains communication with his other parent

Do not screen calls from the other parent or limit telephone contact between your child and the other parent. Instead, ensure that your child is available to speak to the other parent when s/he is on the telephone.

9. Do not discuss adults subjects with your children

Do not discuss the divorce, finances, or other adult subjects with your children. Likewise, avoid saying anything negative about other parent and his/her family and friends to your children.

10. Be careful when talking in front of your child

Children are always listening - especially when you think they’re not. So, avoid discussions regarding the divorce, finances, the other parent, and other adult subjects when your children are within earshot.

11. Your children can read your emotions

Avoid using body language, facial expressions or other subtleties to express negative thoughts and emotions about the other parent. Your child can read you!

12. Stay positive

You can discuss your feelings with your children to the extent that they can understand them. But, if you let your child know that you are terrified of the future, your child will be terrified too. Instead, keep a balanced emotional perspective that focuses on the difference between feelings and facts.

13. Do not use your child as a courier

Do not use your child as a courier for messages or money.

Read more…
By By Elinor Robin, Ph.D. for ezinearticles.com

Posted by blandine in Co-parenting, Communication, Conflicts
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Honey, I Blew Up the Kid

Synopsis

Wacky inventor Wayne Szalinski (Rick Moranis) is at it again. Apparently shrinking his kids was not enough. This time he has inadvertently increased the size of his toddler, Adam. Electromagnetic forces — televisions, lights, and microwaves — continue to make Adam grow more and more. Unfortunately, the toddler has escaped with his “big” brother Nicky and the unsuspecting babysitter (Keri Russell), and he’s heading for Las Vegas, the neon capital of the United States. Will Mr. and Mrs. Szalinski (Marsha Strassman) make it there before Adam terrorizes the city?

From Commonsensemedia.org

Posted by blandine in Leisure, Videos
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25 Apr 2013

How to build your child’s self-esteem


Last week, my son Aaron made the school soccer team. Boy, was I proud. And I couldn’t stop saying so. “Good job, buddy! You’re the best!” I beamed, he beamed, and all seemed right with the world.

It’s not the first time my kids have heard me shout their praises. I’m the resident cheering section, their biggest fan, a back-patter extraordinaire. These days, you can find me handing out compliments as if they’re sticks of gum – when my kids practise guitar, score a goal, help with dishes. The mom logic goes like this: The kid does good (or good enough for me), so I make him feel great about himself. It’s called boosting self-esteem. Or so I thought.

Step back

As it turns out, there are better ways to build self-esteem than heaping on praise for everything kids do – starting with helping them become competent in the world, says Jim Taylor, author of the book Your Kids Are Listening: Nine Messages They Need to Hear from You. To do so, though, you have to learn to step back and let your child take risks, make choices, solve problems and stick with what they start.

Over-praising kids does more harm than good

Self-esteem comes from feeling loved and secure, and from developing competence, Taylor says, and although parents often shower their kids with the first two ingredients, competence – becoming good at things – takes time and effort. “As much as we may want to, we can’t praise our kids into competence,” he says.

In fact, by over-praising kids, we’re doing more harm than good. “We’re lowering the bar for them,” Taylor says. “If you keep telling your child she is already doing a fantastic job, you’re saying she no longer needs to push herself. But confidence comes from doing, from trying and failing and trying again – from practice.”

Samantha MacLeod, who has four boys, ages one to nine, believes constant complimenting can actually erode self-esteem. Either kids start thinking they’re perfect or they try to be perfect all the time – an impossible standard. And inaccurate praise confuses them, she says. “If my son can’t spell and I tell him he’s doing terrific, he learns not to trust his own instincts. He also learns that praise is just flat-out lying.”

Plus, Taylor adds, telling your child he’s the best, the smartest or the most talented is setting him up for some very bad news down the road. You’re creating an egomaniac who thinks his scribbles are Rothkos but, sooner or later, he’ll discover he’s not all that after all.

Read more…
By Randi Chapnik Myers for Todaysparent.com

Posted by blandine in Co-parenting, Communication, Education
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The Impact of Parental Alienation on Children


As today (April 25) is Parental Alienation Awareness Day, I offer the first installment of a three-part series examining the impact of parental alienation on children, the effects of parental alienation on parents, and programs, services and interventions that combat alienation and seek to reunite estranged parents and their children.

What children of divorce most want and need is to maintain healthy and strong relationships with both of their parents, and to be shielded from their parents’ conflicts. Some parents, however, in an effort to bolster their parental identity, create an expectation that children choose sides. In more extreme situations, they foster the child’s rejection of the other parent. In the most extreme case, children are manipulated by one parent to hate the other, despite children’s innate desire to love and be loved by both their parents.

What is parental alienation ?

Parental alienation involves the “programming” of a child by one parent to denigrate the other “targeted” parent, in an effort to undermine and interfere with the child’s relationship with that parent, and is often a sign of a parent’s inability to separate from the couple conflict and focus on the needs of the child. Such denigration results in the child’s emotional rejection of the targeted parent, and the loss of a capable and loving parent from the life of the child. Psychiatrist Richard Gardner developed the concept of “parental alienation syndrome” 20 years ago, defining it as, “a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent.” Children’s views of the targeted parent are almost exclusively negative, to the point that the parent is demonized and seen as evil.

As Baker writes, parental alienation involves a set of strategies, including bad-mouthing the other parent, limiting contact with that parent, erasing the other parent from the life and mind of the child, forcing the child to reject the other parent, …

Read more…
By Edward Kruk, Ph.D. in Co-Parenting After Divorce, for Psychologytoday.com

Posted by blandine in Co-parenting
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